While our five were growing up, we were often asked, “How do you do it?” We often answered, “We just do it”. It was honest and true. When you become a parent, you learn each step, then it becomes a part of your every day. You Just Do It. Then you have your next child, you adjust, and that’s your every day. Then you just keep doing it. Yes, with each child it gets a little harder, but you still keep on keeping on.
A little secret that parents of four or more will tell you… three children is the hardest. A close friend who has 8 children, explained it quite well. With three kids, you go from one-on-one to zone defense. That’s exactly it. The parents are suddenly outnumbered, and it becomes divide and conquer. Once you hit four, though, it gets easier. The older children are older and able to help. I’d love to say it’s downhill sailing from there, but not really. All I can tell you is that it Does get easier. But, you have to pick your battles and prioritize!
When I’m asked, “How do you do it all?” The answer is, “I don’t!” This question refers to the kids AND the housework. The simple fact is we aren’t SuperMom. Mom can’t and shouldn’t do it all! Prioritization is key! There are all sorts of poems and inspirational quotes out there that essentially state, Laundry and Dishes can wait, children won’t. If you clean the dishes daily, or every other day, you still have clean dishes. If you do the laundry weekly or daily, you still have clean laundry on the day you do it. If you mow the lawn, it still cuts down to three inches, whether you mow it at four inches or six inches. Your children are only at this stage, and age, once. They grow so fast, enjoy them while you can.
When mine were growing up, they had food in their bellies, clean clothing on their backs, they had beds to sleep in, and smiles on their faces. We had a “dirty dish counter” by the sink that was rarely completely cleared, and we had the laundry pile, “Mount Never Rest” that we dug through for the necessities to wash. We washed what was needed and tried to do the rest when we could. If we hosted family, or had people over, the floors got an extra sweeping and mopping. We did have family cleaning day every Saturday, unless we went on a full day family outing. But, my children were happy, and healthy. That was important.
We spent time with them and didn’t worry about the house. We certainly didn’t worry about their rooms. If we could close the door, we wouldn't see the mess. With time, they learned to clean them on their own. It was a simple matter of when friends came over, they wanted a clean room. It wasn’t my job to clean their room, just like when they are adults living on their own, it won’t be my job to clean their apartments or homes. They learned that out of necessity. But, they learned it during our family cleaning days, as well. Family cleaning days were family togetherness, and often rewarded with a family activity afterwards. This made it all fun.
Now, with 5 older children, they keep their rooms or apartments clean. They have great memories of family time and reminisce when we are all together. I have more time on my hands, and am able to get the dishes and laundry done regularly. My babies never needed to wait. Laundry and dishes are still there. I’m still working on them. My babies are now young adults. I spent my time with them. I was always there when they needed me, but also when they wanted me. They knew they came first, and now, they come to us first, when they need help or advice with something, or especially when they’re sick. They know we’ll pay attention and offer them advice based on their personality and what would be most comfortable for them to do. Because we spent time with them, and we know them well.
My house is neater now. I have time to organize and find the solutions on Pinterest. I have a ton of memories, large and small, with each of my children. It is ALL possible, just not ALL at once. I just did it. I just didn’t do it ALL at once. My babies didn’t wait to grow up, so the laundry and dishes waited for me.
What often gets put off so you can spend time with your children?
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