To do Santa or not to do Santa, that is the question. And it is often quite the controversial question on parenting boards, especially the Christian focused boards. There are so many thoughts, opinions, and arguments on this subject, it can make one’s head spin.
“You know Santa is an anagram for Satan” states one parent. The comeback to that is the simple fact that Santa translates to Saint in a number of languages. So, in reality he is actually Saint Clause.
“When I found out Santa didn’t exist, I realized my parents lied to me.”, is another comment often found. These same commenters often claim to have lost trust in said parents. However, if you decide to “educate” your child and raise them without believing in Santa, you have the other issue… “All the kids get gifts from Santa, and I’m left out, because we don’t do Santa.”
There are stories of catching parents placing gifts under the tree much to the disappointment of all involved. Or kids believing in Santa longer than their peers and being teased by those very peers. All the while the true meaning behind Christmas is often in danger of being lost in it all.
My mother would make all the toys and fun gifts from Santa, and all the clothing and practical gifts from “Mom and Dad”. However, she would sometimes tell us the story behind trying to find an elusive gift that Santa supposedly brought us. Then, we would question why she was shopping for a gift from Santa. Of course, she ended up needing to back track and create a cover story. Then one year, coming home late on Christmas Eve with family, we were all exhausted, so she enlisted our help in taking the gifts from their hiding place, and putting them under the tree. Thus, the magic was gone, and any doubts we had about Santa’s existence were forever answered in one night.
I loved the magic of waking up in the morning to gifts suddenly “appearing” under the tree. I wasn’t thrilled with waiting in line to sit a few minutes on Santa’s lap in the mall, and I was not big on shopping on Black Friday. With online shopping, however, that last one is not nearly the nightmare it once was, thankfully, but, again, the reason for the season still manages to get lost in the busyness of the season.
Some use “Santa is watching” year round to keep children in line. I, myself, reject “Santa is watching”. My reasoning is that my children should behave on their own accord, because we raised them right, and not because they are afraid of not getting gifts. And, again, the true meaning of Christmas gets lost in the thick of it.
When we talked about having kids, we discussed how both of our families handled it and what we liked and didn’t like. We came up with a system that was easy and did not require lying to our children. We keep the birth of Jesus at the forefront and focus of the season, but downplayed the focus on Santa and his elves. We don’t visit Santa in the mall. It’s a lot of headache and waiting in line. We, instead, tried to get annual Christmas pictures with giant Nativies in front of our church. We attended Happy Birthday Jesus parties, and sang Happy Birthday to Him at our family Christmas celebrations. We read Christmas stories and watched Christmas movies starting with the Muppets Christmas Carol on the day after Thanksgiving, and proceeding through our collection most nights until Christmas. When we wrapped their gifts, we would put each child’s name on the gift, but did not add a “From” name. Exceptions were handmade gifts from mom or dad, gifts from kids to parents, and gifts from one sibling to another. This way they could assume the gift was from Santa, if they so wished, but telling them the story behind it didn’t ruin the magic.
Since friends and family talked about Santa, we didn’t deny his existence, but we didn’t push it, either. If asked questions, we answered them to the best of our ability. And, yes, we used the excuse that the Santas in the stores were Santa’s helpers, and not really Santa. When they asked if Santa was real, we answered them truthfully. However, we often warned through the years, when they discussed it and questioned all the myths, that “If you don’t believe in Santa, you don’t get gifts from Santa.” This was very true with our system. We didn’t say they wouldn’t get gifts, at all. It simply states that Santa doesn’t give them to you… your parents do. We allowed them to believe as long as they wished. Our oldest accepted it at one point, and enjoyed keeping the magic alive for his little sisters. Our oldest daughter didn’t want to lose the magic, and always went to bed early, never asking about Santa. Even though she suspected the “truth”. She even headed to college insisting to everyone that they don’t tell her about Santa, because she believed in the magic. They all prefer to still head to bed and wake up to find the gifts “magically” appear under the tree. We allowed them to believe, but we didn’t focus on it.
How do you “Do Santa”?
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